FUNNY GIRL
Local comic Cayla Clark satirizes the local scene while embracing all the ways it shows support
BY BROOK BOLEN | PHOTOS BY KRISTINA VALDIVIEZO
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Operating on IG with the handle @blinddateavl, she delivers Asheville-centric satirical sketch comedy that lampoons some of the city’s well-known stereo- types like its preponderance of free-spirited hippies or devotedly crunchy moms.
Along with her boyfriend and frequent co-star, Ryan Gordon, she also films hysterical “reviews” of the region’s restaurants, bars and breweries. Delightfully, nothing is sacred and these destinations are often presented as overhyped hot spots, getting a bit of light-hearted ribbing for their use of local, sea- sonal, fresh, scratch-made and sometimes obscure ingredients.
Among Clark’s recent targets were a quesadilla that she said once made Wolfgang Puck “openly weep,” a $70 cold brew made by an “androgynous film student” and a restaurant that was compared to a trust fund baby who became “a sommelier with a man bun and leather boots.”
The jabs are all in good fun, and it’s clear that Clark’s jokes belie a genuine love of the city, its people and its food. We sat down with Clark to discuss her own favorite local eateries (joking aside) and what Asheville’s food scene needs more of. At press time, Clark and Gordon were preparing to welcome their first child in July of this year and hope to be back on the comedy scene by September.
Edible Asheville: Your comedy takes loveable shots at Asheville, and yet it also seems to underscore your appreciation of the city—the place you’ve chosen to live, start a career and, soon, raise a family. What’s your favorite thing about living in Asheville?
I fell in love with the Asheville community pretty quickly. It’s made up of all these beautiful little pockets—the fringe arts scene, the stand-up comedy world, the local recovery community—and while each one has its own flavor, they all share the same core values: warmth, sincerity and a deep sense of support.
There’s something incredibly special about being surrounded by people who genuinely want to see each other thrive. It’s a beautiful thing to be part of.
EA: You were born and raised near Santa Barbara, California. What types of foods did you eat when you were growing up? Did you have special family dishes?
I grew up going to farmers markets with my family— my dad did a lot of the cooking and loved using fresh, local produce. While other kids had Lunchables, I was the weirdo with a Ziploc full of giant freshly peeled carrots, which earned me the nickname “Horse Girl” more than once. Most nights, we ate dinner together at home—something I now realize was a gift.
EA: What are your favorite places to eat around Asheville? What are your favorite meals here?
I’m genuinely spoiled for choice living in Asheville; there are so many incredible places to eat. Our number one go- to is El Que Pasa on Patton Ave. It’s quick, affordable and always hits the spot hard.
I’m also an unapologetic slut for the Baby Bull burger. And I might regret spilling this secret, but the burger at Centreville Luncheonette in Woodfin is criminally under-rated—and the tater tots are next level. Big tot slut over here.
For brunch, you’ll probably find us posted up at Wynn’s, a gloriously comforting greasy spoon on New Leicester Highway. I used to serve at Sawhorse before it closed, and I still miss it. That place had a kind of quiet magic. And those pancakes… RIP.
These days, I’m constantly craving Haywood Common—their poke bowl is one of my favorite meals in town (with tofu for now, until this baby decides to make his debut). And as soon as I’m not pregnant I’m going full gremlin mode on a giant Silverball Sub.
EA: What’s one unpopular opinion you have? Food-related or otherwise.
I’m a big black licorice fiend, which catches me a lot of flak. Licorice of all sorts is my absolute favorite candy, hands down, closely followed by jelly beans and Whoppers. Some might say I have bad taste in candy, but I never have to share my movie theater snacks—so who’s laughing now?
EA: What’s the last thing you ate that you can’t stop thinking about?
OK, at risk of sounding like a real burger freak (that has been my number one craving all pregnancy), I had a burger yesterday in Greer, South Carolina, that I can’t stop thinking about. We were there looking at a minivan (taking impending parenthood seriously), and stopped at Between the Buns at Cartwright Food Hall. I have a gluten-allergy/weak bloodline, and nailing a GF bun is a task and a half. But the bun was perfect, the sauce was epic, the outer perimeter of the patty was brilliantly crispy… OK, I need to take a breather. Getting riled up.
EA: What do you think the Asheville food scene needs most?
I wouldn’t be mad at a really good Chinese spot.
EA: If you were stranded on a desert island and could only eat one thing, what would it be?
Hot dogs. Next question?
EA: OK, next question: If you were a sauce or condiment, what would it be and why?
I want to say something classy and sophisticated, like an aged balsamic or fancy stoneground mustard. But in reality, I’d probably be a half-used bottle of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” spray. No explanation warranted.
EA: In addition to the content you produce for Instagram, you’re also the host of “Blind Date Live,” a popular dating show featuring singles being asked questions in front of a live audience. As a matchmaker and someone who’s dated, what do you think is the perfect first-date meal and/or drink combo?
Our local sponsor for this past show was Chestnut, which would honestly be my first- date pick. Everything they dish up is delicious. I would opt for their new-ish brunch menu, then take a little jaunt through downtown.
Ryan and I actually went on that exact date very recently, and although it was far from our first, we enjoyed it immensely. Neither of us drinks, but we stopped at the French Broad Chocolate Factory for a mocha and milkshake afterwards, which was the perfect midday caffeine boost/dessert. I’m a big advocate of dessert after every meal, which might be another controversial/un- popular opinion.
EA: If you were to host a fantasy dinner party, who’s invited (dead or alive), what are you eating and what music are you playing?
This might sound sappy AF, but my fantasy dinner party wouldn’t be packed with celebrities or historical icons—it would just be my family, Ryan’s family, and my nana, who passed away a few years ago. Her birthday was July 4, and we used to celebrate with the most joyful little backyard cookouts. We’d grill turkey burgers and hot dogs, slice up some watermelon and put out a big bowl of ripe, red cherries, and my mom and I would always make her that classic berry American flag cake with Cool Whip and a borderline violent amount of blueberries.
For dessert, we’d pile our paper plates with cake and ice cream and sit in lawn chairs while the Dolltones—our favorite local band—played in the yard. They’re the kind of band that makes you want to dance barefoot in the grass with a popsicle in one hand and a baby on your hip.
Nothing fancy, just good food, good music and the people I love most in the world. Honestly, that’s the dream.
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Local comic Cayla Clark – operating on Instagram with the handle @blinddateavl – takes lovable potshots at the city she loves and calls home.
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